We've all (the five of us) been back together in Houston for about three weeks now. My OB asked that I not travel past 34 weeks...I pushed the envelope a bit and stayed in Louisiana until 35 weeks. I know, such a rebel. This summer has been an incredible treat for our kids, who had close to two months of time relaxing and relishing in the love of my now-retired parents. They swam, they read, they slept, they ate so very well, they helped out around the house, they were cherished and hugged and given space and time to simply enjoy the gift of this unexpected summer in the states. I'm really not sure who (the grandparents or grandkids) enjoyed the time more :). Meanwhile, I was given the gift of rest and freedom to enjoy this last trimester without the worry of making meals and being solely in charge of our energetic gang as my husband began his new and busy job. I also spent a lot of time––like a lot––researching various options for homeschooling. This also, should come as no surprise to those who know me (and in spite of the obsessiveness and perfectionism, love me anyway). But seriously, who am I to suddenly be in charge of the education of these three bright little people? What if I didn't cover "it all?" What if, despite their enthusiasm to give this thing a try, the kids would up end up sort of hating all this time together and with me? What if I picked the wrong curriculum? And, of course, the internet is absolutely riddled with opinions of the "best" approach to homeschooling, the "best" curriculum, the "best" value, etc.
In the end, after scores of hours spent scouring various websites, frantic emails to friends with homeschooling experience (thanks to each of you who not only tolerated my wordy requests but then so generously shared your sage advice), and plowing through more homeschooling forums and sample PDFs than I care to remember, I finally did what I should have done all along. I remembered to be still. I prayed through all of these unfounded fears and doubts. I accepted the fact that it will be the time that we spend together on this homeschooling adventure that will grow and stretch and nourish us. I realized that facts are facts and I'm not exactly the first person in the world to forge this path and we're going to be just fine...really. And––shocker––I've been surrounded by a much greater peace ever since.
So last weekend, I went to a homeschooling conference nearby, armed with much more confidence and knowledge than I had at my first such conference last summer. While there, I attended a couple of workshops, chose our curriculum, and purchased a few educational and fun items for the kids. And I walked away trusting that if it doesn't add up to the perfect homeschooling experience, then it would be perfect for us right here, right now.
And you know what? We are one week in and it's going pretty well. We've begun slowly but steadily, doing a few hours every morning and then having the freedom to enjoy our summer afternoons. We've managed to stay on a reasonable schedule, with everyone pitching in with a few chores (especially as this mommy's mobility, agility, and speed steadily decrease), and by nothing less than the grace of God, all three kids have individually expressed (totally unprompted) how much they are enjoying this new phase of their education. Madison even asked if we can keep doing this upon our return from Africa! Holy cow. While I am fully aware that we will have plenty of tough and draining days (weeks, even), I am most grateful for the early gift of validation from my people. And lest you ask why I would dare start this process so soon, when schools in the south don't open for another week or two and there is still so much swimming and vegging and sleeping to be done, let me tell you that we wanted to get started now so that we can all take a little hiatus when baby brother decides to make his appearance. Which brings me to the next and final update...
I will be 38 weeks along tomorrow and am so ready to meet our little guy. This pregnancy has gone along just fine, but as has always been the case, these last few weeks are taking their toll on me. Sleep has not come so easily--most nights I find myself awake for an hour or two at a stretch, usually between the hours of 2am and 4am. As I told my husband this week, I don't mind waking at night for a baby, but this insomnia before the baby is for the birds. I've also had some back discomfort that thankfully has been almost completely alleviated by the use of a most unattractive but very functional pregnancy/back support band. And to be completely honest, I am a little fearful of just how big this baby is going to be. My now-skinny little Caroline was my biggest baby, weighing in at just over 9 pounds, and all signs seem to point to this baby being close to that size. And since I know he is full-term now, and we are pretty ready in terms of baby things and prep, and especially since everyday that he is here allows him another day to grow before we depart for Africa, I am rather anxious for him to make his appearance sooner rather than later. So I was most excited when my dear OB told me at my check-up late last week that he would be willing to consider induction once I reach 39 weeks! While I am not a big fan of induction for convenience sake, I have got to admit that this news was music to my ears. I am thrilled to know that there is light at the end of the tunnel and cannot describe how great it is to have a potential birthdate approaching in a little over a week!
I must also admit that all of this time spent trying to get back to sleep every night has afforded me one unexpected gift. It's given me some serious quiet time, time to ponder the wonder of creation that is going on inside of me, time to thank God for His generosity and love in all things, but especially in the gift of this precious life that will soon be a member of our nutty little brood, and time to relearn and acknowledge all over again that this life is not about me or my plans or my wants or my desires. It is about waiting on our God, and giving Him glory for the endless blessings and challenges that make up our lives, and for giving thanks when my plans and need for control are sidelined...because the reality is that His plans are always, always, greater than mine.
He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted
among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth.”
Psalm 46:10
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