oh, yes we are

Well, I guess I've been writing this post in my head for a few weeks now, but I'm still not exactly sure what to say.  As I've articulated previously, our decision to move forward into international medical mission work was one that was made carefully and intentionally.  We planned, prayed, researched, prayed some more, and took one step at a time. Now that we are well into our formation process, we feel that we are exactly where we are meant to be right now.

So in the midst of this planning and praying, I think we may have forgotten that we are made to live and act and breathe according to God's perfect plan, not the other way around.  There have been so very many times in the past months where our decision to become missionaries was validated--through an encouraging word from a friend or colleague, a Scripture passage or devotional that seemed to speak so clearly to our lives, a sermon that only strengthened our resolve to keep on keeping on.  And all that is good, it really is.  I'm afraid, however, that at times our eyes began to see what we wanted them to see, and not so much the whole big eternal picture.  We are here to serve Him, not have Him serve us by fitting into our plans.  We are here to love and be loved by Him, and not just when things feel good or go our way.  We are here to give honor and glory to Him, whether our experiences are currently seeming mountain-top or more like the desert.

And what, my friends, is the point of all this reflecting?

Well, after we made the decision to leave our rather fantastic lives in Greenville, we had a whole lot of logistics to navigate along the way.  There were jobs to leave and vehicles to sell.  There was furniture to give away or make a few dollars on via Craigslist.  There were precious friends to enlist to help in storing a few of our favorite things.  There were attics and closets to clean and so very many clothes to donate.  And oh, the baby items.  My husband and I have always said that we were open to another child if the Lord were to send us one, but in our heart of hearts, we truly felt that this was not the time for that particular enormous life change, considering of course all that we were experiencing with this move toward missions.  And so we donated strollers and a crib, baby blankets and boppys, high chairs and baby backpacks, diaper bags and toys (and toys and toys), baby books and of course, every stitch of maternity clothing...blissfully sure that our God was aware that this was our time of mission work, of serving Him by serving others, and of course He would cooperate.    

What is it that they say?  "Man plans, God laughs?"

I'd venture to guess that our loving Creator was busting a gut right around the end of December.  That was the time when two reasonably intelligent people--physicians nonetheless--began to wonder why something about the woman's cycle seemed a little off.  You know, there are various explanations such as anovulatory cycles and stress-induced delayed menses and such, but, as they say in medical school, if you hear hoofbeats, don't go looking for zebras.

And so, on the evening of our 15th wedding anniversary, we were given a most unexpected gift--the confirmation that now--not after Africa or during Africa or who knows when--but right now we are pregnant and set to welcome a beautiful new life into our family and into this big wide world sometime in late August.

To say that we were surprised would be an understatement.  To call us shocked, speechless, and pretty darn immobilized for a while would come a little closer to an accurate description.  This was great, big, fantastic news, but we were just not expecting it...not right now at least.

And so we prayed, and we waited, and we did not plan, but we listened.  We considered what might change in terms of our plans to move to Africa this summer.  We spoke with trusted and Godly friends and confidants and loved ones.  But we did not make any big plans.  We moved carefully forward, and we stayed on our knees.  And we listened--for His will and voice and guidance.  Because this time, I think--with the help of the subtle 2x4 kindly delivered by our loving Father--we are getting the message.  It is not about us.

And now, several weeks and a whole lotta perspective later, we are full of praise and awe and humility that we are being trusted, once again, with the miracle of new life.  There is nothing on this earth like the love of family, the memories that we make, the jokes that we share, the drama that we navigate, and the growth that we all experience together.  And if our most perfect, all-knowing, eternally-loving Creator of the universe has decided to add to our precious bunch, then we welcome this wonderful little one with open arms and hearts and more love than I could possibly describe (and I clearly have no deficiencies in the wordiness department).

Be safe, our little love.  We are so glad that you will be joining us soon (but please, not too soon--late summer will be just fine :)

    “This, then, is how you should pray:

   “‘Our Father in heaven, 

hallowed be your name, 

 your kingdom come, 

your will be done, 

   on earth as it is in heaven. 

 Give us today our daily bread. 

 And forgive us our debts, 

   as we also have forgiven our debtors. 

 And lead us not into temptation, 

   but deliver us from the evil one.

Matthew 6:9-13